One fine August afternoon in 2013, I was doing some grocery shopping. I thought it quite funny when the young man attending the 8 self-check kiosks at the Grocery Store informed me that only the Fiercely Independent would use self-check when their total is over $100. I guess I was only the 2nd in his full day shift to fall into that category. He had 100 bonus air miles coupon to offer me. So it was part of his job to keep tabs. I racked up $130. The Employee’s tone was very matter of fact. I marveled that he knew this about me via my choice at the Grocery Store. I absolutely love the task of checking through the groceries – right down to reading the numbers off the fruit to expediate the weigh in.
As I drove away with a smile on my face, I pondered. Is being Fiercely Independent a good thing? My instant reaction was No. Not that for many years in my life I would have vehemently said Yes. Then I settle for: it is neither good nor bad. It is just the way I am…until I choose to change. No Judgment. Judging Self is choosing to Suffer. Accepting and Embracing who I am is a more Self-Loving Choice. I have changed slowly over recent years. I can ask for help but it is not a knee jerk reaction, that is for sure. I have come to see the Strength in Embracing your Vulnerability. It is not about being dependent on others but more about collaborating – great fun and feels good on both sides. Connecting the different friends and relations to areas in your life where you might truly be enhanced with help is an enriching activity for anyone’s Spirit… Soul. I want to re-frame my idea about dependence. I enjoy helping others and have come to enjoy the help of others when it is mutually beneficial. Still hate to put someone out. Just being honest. Not even–Steven but goes both ways to some extent. We all have ways we love to help. Ensuring our relationships know the specific ways can create stronger bonds – in Friendship, Families, Communities. All we have to do is Be OurSelves. This is one of the Beautiful Truths that I have landed on…driven home by one of my favorite Spiritual Teachers, for lack of a better word, Panache Desai.
We are not Broken. We do not need Fixing.
Speaking of Spiritual Teachers …
I came back to this short writing on September 10, 2014, days after returning from a Retreat with the Mystic/Spiritual Teacher Matt Kahn. Big message reinforced: the greatest goal in collaborating with a Teacher is to attune my own inner compass to enable going direct to the Source. I initially felt significant resistance to the idea of attending a Retreat. I wanted to reject any and all outside info. My individual journey … best advised from my inner knowing, aka intuition. Midway through the Retreat, I wanted to dash. Done with all of it. No need for Teachers. While sitting in the meeting I looked down at my Phone and was shocked to see a song all cued up. Happens to me occasionally. Never sure but it felt like magic had directed my attention to the song. I laughed. Magic is just Reality playing out in ways that do not match the Traditional Concepts.
I was surprised I even owned the song, let alone have it cued up for me to listen to while at a Retreat. Immediate beeline to sit on the hood of my Grey Mustang Stinger rental car parked in a field outside the Retreat Centre.
Curious which song?
You’ve Got Another Thing Coming by Judas Priest.
That’s right. Here’s where the talking ends!
… I’m a big smash, I’m going for Infinity…
The defiant tone matched my mood. It became my Theme Song as I disengaged from the whole Retreat scene. I had always said I would never go to a Retreat. Ate my words February 2014. And again September 2014. Never Say Never. My old Med School Pearl. It is my present perception that I am unlikely to attend another Retreat. Still enjoy having a wee listen to You Tube videos by Matt Kahn from Time to Time. Bentinho Massaro more so but I do not have the Patience for hour long talks. Bentinho publishes videos that are 3 hour workshops and longer. I do not enjoy taking time for that. I am a fan of the 10 minutes or so snippets of wisdom. I have increased my Fierce Independence in the area of Wisdom. I can connect just as easily as those guys. It is more efficient for me to Go Direct. As I often state: Abundance is knowing what you need to know when you need to know it. If you are like me and you Believe this, it is great fun playing it out for yourself. Very Entertaining. I really could survive all by myself … for shocking lengths of time. As long as I have my Computer with internet connection, my Music and my Osu – my Favorite Video Game right now. So awesome. Of course that is not really by Myself but quite Self Directed.
Adventures in Jedi School: Sexism and Lightsaber Safety – Star Wars Spoof.
I am in the Driver’s Seat … of My Life.
My Evolution. My Choices. My Actions. My Perceptions. My Beliefs. My Health.
As Fiercely Independent as I have always been. I held the common Belief that I require a Teacher to Learn. In the back of my mind, I knew that it was not the only option but Towed the Party Line for a long time that it was the preferred way. History has lessons in it. The Present Moment holds even more value. In order to benefit from what is present Now, I must Let Go of the idea that History holds greater value. That a Teacher’s lessons and ideas are more valuable than My Own.
Simply letting Judgment fall away and Being Open to the Optimal Value that any Perspective offers is Infinitely Freeing. I choose this Now in My Life.
A Common Theme I have observed over my various experiences is that a majority of people do not recognize their Sovereignty. I use the analogy of a Car. I see everyone sitting in the Driver’s Seat, myself also for a formidable number of years, and expecting that some outside Force will enable the Car to Drive.
I have played the role of the Family Doctor for some years. I was witness to Patients choosing to Visit me to Heal Them. It was presumed that I held the knowledge and the keys to Health. I could illuminate their understanding of their Health and then write a magical, handy Prescription to Heal all that Ailed them. Intuitively, I sensed the futile efforts in this Ancient System. Healer Heals Patient. It is a Lovely Fantasy. Patients sat in the Driver’s Seat of their Car. All of my Best Intentions could not enable them to Drive the Car. They sat passively expecting that my efforts would allow the Car to Drive. It did not take me long to see that I was Spitting Into The Wind in this Charade. Disbelief at the blinders in place and the reluctance to be empowered to the Self-Healing Powers within each of Us. Healing would not take place without the efforts of the Patient. Forever stalled in the Parking Lot … of Life. There is no way that I, as a Healer, can Drive the Car for anyone outside of Myself.
The Bridge to Optimal Health is via Letting Go of Belief Systems that have immobilized the Healer, the Self.
Difficult to find the Solution when I am part of the Problem.
My experience found that the majority of Patients did not want this to be True. They could not accept that this is True. They, unconsciously, chose to remain in less Optimal Health as a result. Being Unaware does not change the Physical Nature of Energy, the Physics of Consciousness. To Enable the Self-Healer within: a Beautiful Goal. Too Simple to be True? Yes. It is Simple. Also True.
I Lived by OneRepublic
Your Life Is Now by John Mellencamp
In the Spirit of this Story I want to include an Inspirational Prose from Elizabeth Gilbert. The Very First Thing I saw on Facebook following publishing the prior story, Eat, Pray Bossypants where I discuss my relationship with the famous Novelist was a Post by Elizabeth Gilbert, LG. Beautiful Example of her Brilliance. I have removed all words of Limitation and Doubt, replacing with … (triple period), which allows it to read as an Excellent Manual For Life. The famous words of Yoda: Do or Do Not. There is No Try. Original unedited version can be viewed via the link.
I include the Upgraded and Amended, by Me, Writing:
Good morning, Dear Ones!
I’ve always said that — if you want to be a writer — … write the book that you feel is missing from the world. … write the book that fills in that spot on the bookshelf that somehow feels empty to you. … write the book that you yourself would love to read.
Similarly, if you are an artist, … paint the picture you would like to see.
… write the song you would like to hear.
… build the house you would like to live in.
You take nothing, and you turn it into something: That’s creativity.
… it’s like that with everything in life — not just the arts. … the arts are just the most literal definition of taking nothing and making it into something. … in all realms of life, you … figure out how to create the things that are missing from you.
Out of the emptiness of anger and injustice, you … create justice and fairness.
Out of the emptiness of cruelty, you … create grace.
Out of the emptiness of division, you … create communion.
Out of the emptiness of resentment and vengeance, you … create conciliation and forgiveness.
Out of the emptiness of abuse, you … create appropriate boundaries.
Out of the emptiness of judgment and self-righteousness, you … create goodwill and compassion.
Out of the emptiness of deception, you … create honesty.
Out of the emptiness of abandonment and dysfunction, you … create trust and dignity.
Out of the emptiness of nihilism, you … create ….
Out of the emptiness of neglect and self-destruction, you … create health and tenderness.
Out of the emptiness of conventionality, you … create…well…ANYTHING.
You cannot look upon the sadness of the world (or the sadness of your life) and add up all the dreadful evidence and say, “Well, it’s a conclusive fact: This is a universe of sorrows, and I am its cursed victim” — and then give up.
Inside the void, there is something waiting to be made — something longing to be revealed.
There is an empty shelf, waiting for you to fill it with something good.
You cannot just wish for that good thing to appear on its own — no more than I can wish for my next book to materialize on its own, without me actually taking the time and energy to write it.
I always think of that classic children’s book HAROLD AND THE PURPLE CRAYON, where Harold bravely draws his entire world anew. There’s something so scary about the way Harold steps out in the void all alone. But then he utterly trusts that — armed with nothing but his one purple crayon — he can create an entirely new universe…it’s really powerful stuff. Because without that crayon, there is nothing but void.
Out of nothing, we can make something.
That is the core and the essence of creative living.
What are you planning on making today?
She is a Legend.
Let me go back to the Grocery Store…
Really not much more to tell but see the indoor picture of the Grocery Carts? This was months following the initial Diagnosis of Fiercely Independent. Represents a common occurrence in my weekly food acquisition. The carts are all lined up. To first glance, it would seem 75% of the carts are available for use. A quarter is required to unlock, inspire us all to properly park the cart following use. All Systems are created with the purpose of serving us all. And all systems have their challenges in functioning optimally. The Individual within the system is often the Strongest Ally and the Weakest Link combined. I took the photo to capture the reality that often it is only the one row that is functioning properly. Most of the carts are unavailable due to the jammed mechanism in a few of the carts at the front of the line. Analogy for Life. One row was available for use – hence inspiring me to take a pic. Very same night, I went to park and was met by the outside view. Haphazard parking resulted in only one row receiving carts – Jutting into the parking lot in no time. We all manage around these various familiar obstacles. I chose to capture the mundane experience that I am frequently faced with. It bothers me not. It used to. When I run into these entanglements less often, I know our Society will be choosing to Upgrade. As much as I can relish my Fierce Independence on Angèle Island, my environment is a result of the actions of the Herd, the Horde, the People. I take my place. I act in the higher good in these mundane Grocery Cart experiences. I Pay it Forward when I am inspired. I am not always inspired.
Let the Wild Rumpus Start …
Here I Go by Whitesnake originally sung on The Voice of Poland IV by Juan Carlos Cano
Colorblind by Counting Crows
It Is Whatever I Say It Is.
I am the Driver of my Reality: the way I choose to perceive the Reality I interact with.
Did I Choose the Reality that I Now Experience?
Not alone. The influence of others plays a role.
When Not Optimal, I Change my Choice.
Most often, my biggest Freedom is how I choose to see the Collective Reality.
It is Easy.
Yet not without Challenge.
I have the Freedom to choose my Actions, Thoughts and Beliefs.
Every other individual in my Community is doing the same.
We are influenced by each other in subtle and not-so-subtle ways.
Harmony and Disharmony at play.
Mindset Shift Required … Every Time I Feel that I Did Not Consciously Choose my Present Reality.
Don’t Believe Everything You Think.
I have the Freedom to Perceive my Reality.
In the context of a Quantum Reality.
I like to call it Physics of Consciousness.
Very Common in today’s Reality to see people using their Power in extremely Limited Ways due to not connecting to the Quantum Truth.
It. Is. That. Simple.
Kind of a Paradox there. It is Simple in one Perspective. Very Complicated in Another.
Perspective is Everything.
Open My Mind.
Allow Myself to Recognize the Truth of my Self. My Abilities. My Power.
As I often joke: The Artist Formerly Known as God.
Listen to Me Now. Believe Me Later.
Experiment. Experience it For Yourself.
September 2, 2015 Addendum:
Do We Have Free Will? by Jason Silva
What he said …
January 18, 2016
Fiercely Independent could also be termed … controlling & difficult.