My childhood was absent of significantly traumatizing incidents. Not that I still can’t tell a few stories… Deep sorrow when I found out there was no Santa Claus. It was not so much the loss of the man in the red suit but the lies I received from my parents whenever I asked about Santa.
Liar, Liar performed by Major Bedhead from The Big Comfy Couch. Was I the only one who watched all those amazing character-developing Children’s shows? So often there was entertainment with more appealing messages to our deep primal desires. If the first video went too quickly, let me slow it down for you. Major Bedhead in slow motion. Since we were on the topic of childhood traumas … Ha ha. Roared when I showed my 14 year old son the Liar, Liar clip. His face became distorted and he declared, “How come I was not traumatized by this?” Great minds think alike. My 10 year old son was quick to state, “That’s messed up. That is the dumbest thing I have ever seen.” One person’s messed up is another’s genius. To each his own, I say.
Even way back when I was 6 or 7 years old, I was interested in truth. My belief: you are never too young for truth. I was one of the very last believers. Yes, one of those. I trusted my parents so fully that I had a hard time believing they would lie to me. I peppered them with questions about the mysterious Santa as I aged. Especially concerning was the fact that we did not have a fireplace at that time. They had an answer for that. It was seriously embarrassing for me once I realized I was the last one in my peer group not in on the ruse. Grief reaction knowing my parents lied/fibbed … and I believed them. Vivid memory from childhood.
So when my firstborn started asking questions at age 5, logical questions, I did not hesitate to answer truthfully. Much to the horror of other parents in our lives. I recognized that I may be a lone wolf in this viewpoint and reminded Elise that many parents will continue the charade as it is fun for everyone. My sense was that she was satisfied knowing the truth and had no desire to share it with her friends. To my awareness, she never did. She had a deep understanding at that young age – of life in general. I have always called her an old soul. I did what I thought was best for her and I. Our family continued to play the Santa game. It was based in integrity. I told Elise that the spirit of Santa is a darling one and that mama and daddy purchase the gifts for fun and to connect to the idea of giving. I did not fib or lie to any of my kids. The two boys that followed just declared, “Mama, you are Santa”. I pleaded guilty right away. Still fun. All truth.
Christmas traditions. I enjoyed them through my life. Decorating a tree. Putting up Christmas lights outside. Buying gifts. Baking. Gathering family. Christmas music. Still love gathering family, sharing food. Music I love generally. Somewhere along the way, I started seeing aspects to Christmas that no longer resonated. So much stuff. Where was it all going to end up? Commercialization. So many gifts. Some Christmases, I would just send the load of gifts to Goodwill, unopened. I felt uncomfortable doing that. I felt bad knowing my family and friends had taken the time and money to buy a gift. But I knew when something would never be touched. I started asking everyone not to buy me anything. I did not want anything. The tradition was engrained. My family would not comply with my wishes. So I started to be more open about where the gifts ended up (the ones to my kids also). So much stuff. Sometimes life felt like stuff management. Not by my choice. I guess the urge to simplify was not to be ignored. Very slowly, I have done this in my life. I do have a large house with all the fixin’s to go with it. I am no Saint. I live with the evidence of my history as a very effective consumer. I am a wee lazy. Staying in this big house with all this furniture feels easier than trying to downsize. I love my home’s location close to the river and a large park. Until I find inspiration in another location where smaller homes are found, I remain. Children’s schooling and the two-household reality are elements that factor into this apathetic tone. I would rather do nothing than something lacking in enthusiasm.
So 2013, I finally declared that I was not connected to so many of the Christmas traditions. I would not participate in the traditional way. No Christmas tree. No outdoor lights. I would like to avoid all gifts. My kids were in agreement too. Their dad was still connected to gifts and chose to purchase for them. I decided to include my two nieces as my brother’s family wanted to continue just with the kids. So I compromised. No big deal.
Christians & The Pagans by Dar Williams
What amazed me was that I felt so good about my personal decision with the house. I was comfortable being different from those around me. This comfort was new. I had experienced clear reactions that my individuality was not embraced by family. It reminded me that one of the biggest transformations for me was to let go of fitting in or being like everyone else. I am not like everyone else – around these parts anyway. I realized that for most of my life I felt uncomfortable when I wanted to make a choice outside of the norm. Completely self-evident but thinking about my Christmas choices helped me to integrate it. I accept that what I choose will not be the same for others.
It reminds me of my days of activism. There was a time that I dealt with my discomfort of feeling differently by trying to convince others to feel as I do. That way, I would feel more comfortable with my own choice. Whether it was about the Education System, the Medical System, Politics or Electoral Reform (a few causes I have taken on). How much more peaceful to just worry about me. Let everyone else come to their own decisions. I have no need to push my opinion on others as I did when I was an activist. Live and let live… My mantra these days. But I also expect others to let me live as I let them. I guess I am a little late in this stage of maturation. Better late than never…
Christmas Wish by Tuck & Patty. The version I have listened to for nearly 20 years comes from an album titled Winter, Fire & Snow. Such a Beautiful collection of music inspired by the Christmas Season but not traditional. I purchased 20 of those CD’s the year I discovered it in the 1990’s somewhere. It took me two years to give them all away. It felt so good to do so. I have my enthusiastic moments. So when I went to You Tube and found a slow, faltering version of this song, I had to make it right. And it felt so good. I had been meaning to start putting my own
versions of songs into the Worldwide Web but it took this one to start that ball rolling. Sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands. Followed my own inspiration. See where it will take me.
Reflected on this writing. It seemed a very silly thing to write about on one hand. Another way of wording it is that I have experienced a shift in my energetic vibration. What used to make me uncomfortable, no longer does. Feels good. I know my choice to not live out some of the Christmas Traditions is not shared by those around me. I now trust the Universe more. I know I can be accepted despite my difference in this choice. If not, so be it. So mundane, I know. I used to vibrate at an energy level of activism. I would feel a need to convince those around me to feel as I do. Was not completely comfortable in my own skin presumably due to being different. At the same time I was reluctant to live the change that I wanted. I took it personally, deep down, when others did not share my views. I doubted myself when others did not agree. I have shifted away from that. I am OK in being different. And I am OK with others not following my lead. It is so peaceful here on the other side of activism. Alleluia!!!
Mouna Loba by Manu Dibango – also from the Winter, Fire & Snow album.
I have slowly come to this conclusion about activism in general. There is an uncomfortable energy coming from some (all?) Activists, people with a cause. It does very little to convince those not ready to change their thinking or behavior … in my experience. Promoting what you would like to see in a peaceful way has the potential to influence change. My favorite technique would be by modelling it. Different from actively seeking to change the minds and behavior of others.
Same could be said about my choice to separate from my husband. Not a lot of support in my world. And I am OK with that … finally.
Passage to Promise by Andreas Vollenweider feat. Ladysmith Black Mombaso. Yes, also Winter, Fire & Snow.
When one individual (or group) wants to change the behavior of another individual (or group), the energy is quite repelling. It simply does not feel good … for either party. Religious wars have plagued us from the beginning of time.
Unarmed Canadian Cirillo was shot and killed by what was believed to be Islamic Militants. Within days, a mosque in Coldlake Alberta was covered in hateful grafitti presumably linked to the recent death of the soldier. The town quickly gathered around the Muslim community the very next day: helping to repair windows and clean up the mess. A friend commented that it reminded her of the final scene from When The Grinch Stole Christmas. Yes! It has begun …
The spirit of Christmas is a Beautiful Thing. Love. Connection. Peace.
When you put it that way, every day is Christmas in my world.
John Lewis Christmas Ad 2:10: Very sweet.
Beautiful Truth…in My world.
In The Morning by Jack Johnson is a song about Christmas morning.
Written in December 2013/December 2014.
Addendum -Mugs of Joy (photo above earlier in story):
I spent just over $400 on these 4 gifts when I was inspired by the suggestion of the Mustard Seed Church. Each Mug consists of a pair of gloves or mitts, a travel coffee mug, $20 coffee gift card, 5 bus tickets, 2 sets of handwarmers/2 sets of toe warmers. Recipients will be four homeless Edmontonians.
I had a conversation with myself regarding the gesture. On one level, $400 could have easily been spread among more people. Longstanding fascination with homelessness. Learned many things. So surprised when I heard that laundry was not part of the homeless lifestyle. People wear clothes until they are extremely dirty, then throw them away and obtain fresh clothes, usually from one of the charities downtown. The idea of ownership may be different. As much as I questioned the purchase of $40-80 hand warming devices, wondering how long they could be of service (dirty, lost, stolen), I chose to buy quality. It was my intention to lift the spirit of another human being. We are all so worthy. My daughter was thrilled to hear my Christmas Wish that the high quality items might inspire their recipient to reach for the highest version of themselves in each moment. Just over $100 was the average cost for my Mugs of Joy. I happened to need new mittens myself so found myself at a store I adore, Camper’s Village. I could not feel good buying a gift for another that I would not buy for myself. Hence: the splurge.
One stop shop. That is how I roll. In case any of you were wondering …
An article published by Sandra Walter discussing the importance of disclosure.
Disclosure: the word of the day … and the bridge to Peace.
Disclosing defined from dictionary.com app:
1. to make known; reveal or uncover
2. to cause to appear; allow to be seen; lay open to view
The concept of the building block to world Peace is the small, personal actions we take in our lives is the Beautiful Truth. That was what prompted me to write a book … that will never be written now. I love my website: The Disabled Angel. I disclose a lot. It has been a Beautiful therapy for me. I have come to believe that just by my writing and making it available publicly is all that is required to ground this energy. Whether someone reads it or not is irrelevant, I believe its power is just by its existence. My Beautiful Truth.
Transcribed from a talk by Sandra Walter:
Accelerate disclosure. … Divine neutrality. … Disclosure on all levels – micro and macro.
Assist the process of disclosure by applying the micro to macro dynamics.
Think global. Act local.
Remember this isn’t confession energy: not good or bad. It is simply speaking your truth with transparency.
Some prompts for personal disclosure:
What have you not disclosed in your own lifestream?
What secrets do you still keep hidden from others?
Is there a last hand waiting to be revealed from you?
Can you express your fears?
What can you share openly to reveal your true self to those around you?
Can you reveal your personal ideas about money, government, ET’s or personal issues without causing injuries or embarrassment? Or do certain areas of your life stay hidden?
Why would you expect others to do that if you cannot?
How forgiving are you of others or yourself?
Have you attained Divine neutrality?
The energy of personal revelation when shared openly, honestly, with integrity, love and in service to all energetically support those in roles of leadership, government, finance, corporations who have the challenging task of disclosure at hand.
Even one small revelation of truth to a friend can support this energy. That is you revealing you to another person. The microcosm of large organizations coming forward and revealing the truth.
Re-evaluate your own interests. Are they in alignment with the highest interest of the planet, humanity … ?
Face the fear of disclosure in your own lifestream in order to support a quickening of those dynamics on a planetary level.
Everyone is involved in disclosure. It is not us versus them.
Disclosure and re-evaluation have been delayed by the collective decision to hide secrets or tell half-truths.
… coming out speeches for your representatives or key players. How would you present what needs to be said? How would you infuse those words with compassion in the highest interests of all concerned?
What revelations could come to light without creating chaos?
Try this. It is a great exercise in Divine neutrality. Write it down. Share it. It creates the energy towards the energy of disclosure and ideas in how to handle the fallout.
… we are creating the most complementary shift for everyone.
We understand that the idea of change is very scary to most of the population. Change this energy. Shift the collective consciousness to revelation, disclosure and re-evaluation of systems by actively choosing to reveal your own truth: personal truths. Engaging in acts of forgiveness and personal clemency (meaning of clemency: compassion or forgiveness in judging or punishing, leniency, mercy).
Money is energy and maintains a powerful vibration for many upon this planet. When this energy is applied with positive intention, it shifts the flow to a higher vibration. Send this positive vibration your vote, your agreement to services and products with the new paradigm.
It not only aligns you … , it assists the collective … and raises the vibration of our planetary consciousness. It is very important to demonstrate your agreements in a physical … way as this timeline acceleration anchors into our collective consciousness.
My Christmas Wish for you: Disclose what needs to be disclosed. Be brave. It is Beautiful on the other side …
I live for Beautiful Truth.
He responded: To kill something, it has to be alive. A massacre implies killing a lot of things. (My initial quote was massacre of a single lie.)
I: My sense is that lies are alive and well in this world.
He: To be alive something must exhibit gas exchange, require water and need an energy source.
Out of the mouth of Babes …
Massacre sounds violent but has several definitions. The one I favor is: to defeat decisively, especially in sports. Game on!