{"id":582,"date":"2014-05-30T09:38:57","date_gmt":"2014-05-30T15:38:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/disabledangel.ca\/?p=582"},"modified":"2016-08-20T19:07:41","modified_gmt":"2016-08-21T01:07:41","slug":"je-souviens-remember","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/disabledangel.ca\/?p=582","title":{"rendered":"Je Me Souviens"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Great Remember <\/a><\/strong>by Steve Martin and the Steep Canyan Rangers from their album \u201cRare Bird Alert<\/i>\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Following is a letter that was never sent to my Norwegian Friend #1, featured in Twin Flame: Fact or Fiction.<\/span><\/p>\n

March 23, 2014 <\/span><\/p>\n

I attended a Writer’s Workshop in San Francisco this weekend. One of the little five minute assignments was to write \u201cI remember<\/strong>…\u201d. Explore what comes from this two word opener for five\"SanFranciscobridge\"<\/a> minutes. That may mean one story or several I remembers until time is up. Several of the group shared theirs publicly. I was very touched by the format when applied to one specific person. <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It came to me in the lunch break that followed to use this format to explore my recent memories of our Mentorship Meeting.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I affectionately declare that the Physics Professor Writes a Poem<\/i><\/strong>:<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember <\/b><\/i>typing up the email requesting your Mentorship services. I notice<\/b><\/i> that I felt calm while I collected my thoughts and dreams, asking for your collaboration.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember<\/b><\/i> your response. Yes, but…with valid concerns about what my expectations might be. I notice<\/b><\/i> myself double check my inspired decision to request your services.\"1979882_718715251483823_2136476759_n\"<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember<\/b><\/i> my surprise that in lieu of the short coffee meetup prior to a Mentor Meeting, our plans landed on dinner and a show. I had noticed,<\/b><\/i> weeks prior, a favorite local celebrity was performing \u201cIn Your Element\u201d featuring 80’s music running for two nights only. <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember<\/b><\/i> the lift in my heart and soul when I saw you standing in the foyer of the restaurant that Saturday night: right on time to my early – only 10 minutes. I notice<\/b><\/i> how you seem to run out of your jacket to come to the table to greet me…with a hug and quick fleeting kiss on the cheek. I notice<\/b><\/i> that the 2+ years since our last meeting disappear instantly.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember<\/b><\/i> you sharing your personal stories within 10 minutes of this surreal reunion. I notice <\/b><\/i>how endearing it is to hear you talk of your personal history.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember <\/b><\/i>talking comfortably with you as if we were longstanding friends. I notice<\/b><\/i> what a lovely picture we paint for all the other restaurant patrons.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember<\/b><\/i> our mutual enjoyment of the Malbec wine. The large and shapely glassware does not go unnoticed by either of us.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember <\/b><\/i>wanting to skip down the street to the theatre to see the show. Buoyed up with a thimble of wine, I could not hold back a few skipping steps. I wonder<\/b><\/i> if you notice. <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember<\/b><\/i> soaking in your presence. I notice<\/b><\/i> the enjoyable interactions with the theatre staff in \"1001303_538869562841774_1873566650_n\"<\/a>trying to seat us in our ticketed seats \u2013 hidden way up in the balcony.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember <\/b><\/i>you missing a step and spilling red wine on your crisp white shirt as we continued the wild goose chase for our seats. I notice<\/b><\/i> that you handle the mishap with style and grace. The shirt was destined to be processed the next day by Edmonton’s World Class Waste Management Program<\/strong><\/a>. It is probably biofuel<\/strong><\/a> by now…<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember<\/b><\/i> you noticing the last song I listened to on my playlist in the blackened theatre during the show, Fields of Gold <\/strong><\/a>by Eva Cassidy \u2013 you also have that very song.\u00a0 I <\/b><\/i>notice <\/b><\/i>the title to the song my son has been regularly serenading me with is\u00a0Rock You Like a Hurricane <\/strong><\/a>by the Scorpions. <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember <\/b><\/i>walking past the Citadel Atrium. I notice <\/b><\/i>the workbench<\/em> in the shadows of the majestic Norfolk Pines. I resist the urge to show you.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember<\/b><\/i> seeing you in the passenger seat of my red, debadged SUV. I almost can not look as it would seem an impossible reality not weeks before. I just fe<\/b>el<\/b> it.<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember <\/b><\/i>you guiding me out of the traffic jam on Jasper Avenue. I enjoy the subconscious delay tactic. I notice<\/b><\/i> you are not quick to bring me back in line.\"10153700_717849658256525_1448737092201972858_n\"<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember<\/b><\/i> dropping you to the downtown hotel close to 11pm, anticipating the unknown day ahead which would start with me picking you up at 10am the next morning. I delight in the fact that this was the night of daylight savings time change. We spring forward <\/b>so one less hour to wait. <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember<\/b><\/i> picking you up the next morning. The thrill of seeing your surprise approach to my truck from outside as I wait in the front lobby. You meet me at the hotel front step with a kiss for each cheek as is the custom of my ancestors<\/em>. \u00a0 I wonder<\/b><\/i>, did you do some homework last night? Nice touch…<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember<\/b><\/i> my enthusiasm spilling over while driving towards Edmonton’s Telus Baseball Field. I share the rumor that the book Shoeless Joe by WP Kinsella was inspired by this very field and<\/b> \"photo-2\"<\/a>inspired the movie \u201cField of Dreams\u201d. You reach out your hand to calm & steady me \u2013 my hand absentmindedly holding the steering wheel that controls your safety. The gentle reminder feels like a gesture performed a thousand times. I notice<\/b><\/i> how patient you are with me \u2013 as if you know me well.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I finish my writing into my phone at the San Francisco Restaurant over lunch. I am now on a break in the playground across from the Hilton Financial District Hotel. I open my phone. It is 3:33pm. Catch my breath…<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember<\/b><\/i> walking into the lineup at Cora’s for breakfast \u2013 a place I have attended with each and every friend dear to me. I notice the logo on your grey winter jacket: Arcteryx, Canadian company. I am wearing the Norwegian brand Helly Hansen in Indigo.\u00a0 I notice <\/b><\/i>your flexibility as you ordered coffee, not yet realizing other options were available. Glad you ended up with double Espresso.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember <\/b><\/i>you asking me what is the difference between enlightenment and ascension. I <\/b><\/i>notice <\/b><\/i>there are no words available to answer. <\/span><\/b>
\n<\/b><\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

\"1506813_10153744472415537_757388632_n\"<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember <\/b><\/i>parking in my VIP parking spot at my friend’s house down by the River. <\/b><\/i>I notic<\/b><\/i>e<\/b><\/i> the 200 stairs in the distance as we crossed the first footbridge of many that day.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember<\/b><\/i> the warm sun with the best of the season temperature nearing 10 degrees Celsius \u2013 a 30 degree improvement from the prior week. I notice<\/b><\/i> how therapeutic it feels as the winter season takes its last breath.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember<\/b><\/i> walking past a sign that warns the path is not passable. I notice<\/b><\/i> our passage easily defies the validity of the warning.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember<\/b><\/i> your playful way of slip-sliding down the trails with your beautiful, blue, latest technology, Nike running shoes. I enjoyed a sure-footed walk clad in my 20 year old beige K-Swiss hiking boots.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember <\/b><\/i>you asking for my thoughts on Christmas Traditions. I notice<\/b><\/i> that I do not tell you I wrote a story about that.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember<\/b><\/i> you asking which house I prefer of the two within view on the opposite bank by the mighty North Saskatchewan River. I notice <\/b><\/i>myself not really having a preference.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember <\/b><\/i>playing the spoons, each our own set, at a public performance by a French Canadian Folk Group conveniently located near the walking path.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember<\/b><\/i> walking along the trail and you modeling how to find a way to make a circular route rather than doubling back the way we came. I notice<\/b><\/i> how you make warm connections with people as you ask for directions.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember <\/b><\/i>walking up an extremely steep, snowy hill. I kick toeholds into the crusty 6 inches of snow that I thought might come in handy for you. I do not look back to see if you used them or not.\u00a0 I \"1000998_187239234778076_1117152518_n\"<\/a>notice<\/b><\/i> you made it up somehow without incident.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember<\/b><\/i> talking about tattoos: if we would have one what would it be? I notice<\/strong> we both have thought about this before. I notice<\/strong> that I forget to mention the dragonfly as a symbol I consider appropriate.\u00a0 I adore this discussion. I wonder<\/b><\/i> if you notice that? <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It is now the next day after my Monday morning \u201cRush\u201d to Yoga… Home sweet home in Edmonton.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember <\/b><\/i>the topic of relationships coming up. I notice<\/strong> we both share cursory details that illustrate our challenges in this area.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember<\/b><\/i> you order a green juice and I, a smoothie at Booster Juice in my local strip mall. <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember<\/b><\/i> you performing the first moves of Tai Chi outside the Booster Juice as you wait for your second customized green juice to be made. I am a captive audience in the driver’s seat of my SUV. I notice <\/b><\/i>the twinkle in your eye.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sarah Harmer Captive <\/a>
\n<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember<\/b><\/i> backing into the garage of my home…with you in the passenger seat. I notice<\/b><\/i> how naturally it sits with me.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember <\/b><\/i>having tea together, each enjoying a space on my beautiful, green sofa. I notice <\/b><\/i>how you prepare the lighting using the two floor lamps in the room prior to my entry. I notice <\/b><\/i>how comfortable I feel as I put my feet up on the wartorn coffee table. <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember<\/i> <\/b>walking my dogs with you. We ran into an acquaintance from the neighborhood. <\/span>I \"10170730_482869458507353_8415207377800009675_n\"<\/a>notice <\/i><\/b>that I did not think to introduce you to her. Forgot all of my manners. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember<\/b><\/i> phoning ahead to ensure an available table at a funky new gastrobar called \u201cThe Glass Monkey\u201d. I notice<\/b><\/i> how plain the restaurant looks in its strip mall location as we drive up.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember <\/b><\/i>the fun of ordering and eating together at our last supper<\/em>. I notice<\/b><\/i> that you declare you enjoy the view … of me, not at all worried about missing out the view of the televised saltwater fishtank that I am enjoying. I notice<\/b><\/i> that I do not share with you how happy I am with my view … of you. <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember<\/b><\/i> you reminding me that it takes two to Tango<\/em><\/strong> in answer to my question \u201c have you ever tangoed in Buenos Aires?\u201d, even the waiter chimes in his agreement with this statement as he happens to be at the table in the next breath. I notice<\/b><\/i> that my heart flutters in response.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember<\/b><\/i> that you asked if I had been to both Thailand and Buenos Aires separately over the course of our meeting. After my negative reply, I notice<\/b><\/i> that you state, \u201cyou would love it there\u201d. I agree with you. I notice<\/b><\/i> that I leave those remarks hang.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"10154469_754728854567606_1322187414326100651_n\"<\/a>I remember<\/b><\/i> being treated to your 80’s playlist. <\/b><\/i>I notice<\/b><\/i> that the songs are short snippets, not the whole thing. I <\/b><\/i>notice<\/b><\/i> it is fun to experience so many songs in an efficient timeframe.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember<\/b><\/i> looking at the clock on the dash of my vehicle. I notice <\/b><\/i>that the carriage is soon to turn into a pumpkin, yet again.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember<\/b><\/i> you saying just before you exit the vehicle this night, \u201cI will see you again\u201d. I notice<\/b><\/i> myself doubting \u201cdid I actually hear that?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember<\/b><\/i> getting out of the vehicle so that I could ‘hug you properly’. I notice<\/b><\/i> you do not give the extra long style that you gave me the first and last time we met 2 years ago. \"603581_574465245907482_1298136356_n\"<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MOST<\/b> of all, I remember<\/b><\/i> feeling the deepest, surest peace <\/b>within my entire being as I was driving down the hill out of downtown Edmonton that night. I t<\/b>ake<\/b> notice<\/b>…<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

May 11, 2014<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

P.S. – I never sent this email\/poem. Strong intuitive message was \u201cHe is not ready to receive this now\u201d. Sharing this is humbling but authentic for me. \"1011491_689613007719058_337238594_n\"<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I loved the experience as it goes to show the value of not making assumptions, not taking things personally, desiring\/creating an experience and most of all not knowing.<\/strong> I have not a clue<\/b>.\u00a0 I look back to our original meeting:\u00a0 I fell in love with his Soul.\u00a0 Logic and the mind keep us busy wondering what is going on. Makes little logical sense to me. <\/span>I love that he knows me in a more realistic light than before. I enjoyed our shared time. I must again respect his choice in how he wants to interact with me.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I add one last verse:
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember<\/strong> you heard one of my favorite songs playing from my iphone Playlist over the Harmon Kardon in my kitchen -my amp from the big system was awaiting replacement.\u00a0 I notice<\/strong> the song seems to impact you more than any other you have heard \"471775_10151825874410526_1352472385_o\"<\/a>from my list.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

You Are Not Alone <\/strong><\/a>by Patty Griffin
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Relax. Nothing is under control. <\/b>What a relief…<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Satisfied <\/a><\/b>by Jewel
\n<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Great Remember by Steve Martin and the Steep Canyan Rangers from their album “Rare Bird Alert”   Following is a letter that was never sent to my Norwegian Friend #1, featured in Twin Flame: Fact or Fiction. March 23, 2014 I attended a Writer’s Workshop in San Francisco this weekend. 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