{"id":4147,"date":"2015-09-15T19:46:29","date_gmt":"2015-09-16T01:46:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/disabledangel.ca\/?p=4147"},"modified":"2015-12-06T22:30:10","modified_gmt":"2015-12-07T04:30:10","slug":"wild-free","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/disabledangel.ca\/?p=4147","title":{"rendered":"Wild & Free"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Big<\/a>A story of infidelity was shared recently on a wide audience Facebook Page. Inspired me to collect my thoughts.<\/span><\/p>\n

I firmly proclaim that a holistic discussion about Infidelity is a Ripe Garden ready for Harvest. What are we harvesting? Freedom. Self-awareness. Growth. Learning. Communication skills. Compassion. <\/span>Most importantly: Self Love, which starts with Respect of all players especially one’s Self.<\/span>
\nAn invaluable harvest in a sea of drama, judgment and venom.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have various experiences with infidelity. I share the general theme of one incident in a story titled, Fear, Compassion and Greed… Oh My!<\/a><\/b><\/span>. My 16 year marriage transformed. Infidelity was not my focus.\u00a0 It was more the signpost that helped me to see what needed to be seen. More as a symptom of a relationship in need of authenticating. The marriage became a Parenting Partnership. I was so inspired by the process of exploring my mindset in the face of \"IMG_2046\"<\/a>adversity that I started a Facebook Page called Authentic Family<\/strong><\/a> to share the knowledge that served me so well. I played with a choice that is available to us all but not used by many. I understand the challenges. The same challenges that threaten an individual’s harmony when Infidelity strikes a Relationship. A common choice is to Suffer. I doubt that the choice is conscious but more an unconscious loop playing out. Societal Beliefs lead us down the road \u2026 to suffering.<\/span><\/p>\n

For me, I focused on letting go of Society’s prescription for Marriage.\u00a0 Authentic was more important than Rules & Regulations.\u00a0 I valued my own needs over anyone else’s.\u00a0 I knew, this is the key, that when I took immaculate care of myself, everyone else would be better off also.<\/p>\n

Self-Love is the new Black.\u00a0<\/strong> <\/em>\"559237_600204373354388_713875579_n\"<\/a>
\nOne Woman’s Selfishness is another Woman’s Self-Love.<\/em><\/strong>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

But what about the kids?\u00a0 The question that I heard repeatedly.\u00a0 Yes, what is best for the kids?\u00a0 My definitive answer:\u00a0 For both parents to thrive.\u00a0 This answer is true whether or not infidelity plays a role in bringing the Relationship to the Forefront.
\nPartner bashing hurts society in astronomical ways.\u00a0 When I can Respect Myself… and Love Myself, or at least care for myself, I will be able to see my former partner in a compassionate, respectful way.\u00a0 I will stand up for my rights and needs but only in the backdrop of my partner’s also.\u00a0 This is the way of Wisdom, of Holistic Wellness.\u00a0 When the Individual thrives, so does the Community.\u00a0 When the Community thrives, so does the City and on \"IMG_2071\"<\/a>to Country.\u00a0 When the Country thrives, the World will know Peace.\u00a0 The Ripple Effect.\u00a0 Starts with each Individual.\u00a0 What the former partner ever did … is irrelevant.\u00a0 He\/she is a human being with their own personal history.\u00a0 No one develops in a vacuum.\u00a0 Perhaps ancestral patterns are also at play.\u00a0 Great advice from Stephen Covey, the author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People:\u00a0 Seek First To Understand, then be Understood.<\/p>\n

Infidelity forces the hand.\u00a0 The relationship suddenly needs to understand itself a whole lot better, along with each individual clarifying what they want from the coupling.\u00a0 To me this is a beautifully wrapped gift of Glorious Human Messiness.\u00a0 What anybody else thinks, I include the partner in here, is truly none of your business.\u00a0 What you think is paramount.\u00a0 What do you want?\u00a0 You cannot go back in time so what do you really want?\u00a0 If it is to make others suffer for their Humanity, I can\"603935_445990968818326_816845066_n\"<\/a> guarantee you it is like a boomerang.\u00a0 You, also, will suffer alongside.\u00a0 Strikes me as a less than conscious choice.\u00a0 Do you want to live in Harmony and with Dignity?\u00a0 Then you would choose your actions accordingly.\u00a0 To create a world full of Harmony, you must act harmoniously.\u00a0 To create a world full of Peace, you must choose Peace.\u00a0 I do not believe in Faith.\u00a0 I know we all create what we choose.\u00a0 I encourage that choice to be a conscious one.\u00a0 Be aware.\u00a0 An uncomfortable occurrence in Life can yield riches beyond your capability of understanding in a Moment of Time. Time Only Knows<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

The Justification Roadblock<\/a> <\/strong>by Teal Scott. Paraphrased some of the concepts:
\nPain & Fear are a call to become more Present<\/em>, Conscious & Aware.\u00a0 Not necessarily an indication that something has gone wrong. … You are not ever going to be able to get everything right. … Kind of a liberation really.
\n\"10313341_10152156191399150_1075242775425769247_n\"<\/a>What to do?\u00a0 Give up on the pressure you are giving yourself and simply Let Go and Choose what you think is best for yourself in any given moment.<\/em>
\nVulnerability is what we are. …\u00a0 Life involves the possibility of uncertainty<\/em>, of risk and potential hurt. …
\nHappiness, Love and Joy along with the realization of your Dreams:\u00a0 additional, Beautiful byproducts of vulnerability.<\/em>
\nSo many people live their lives sensibly only to arrive at death carefully.\u00a0 <\/strong><\/em>Teal Scott
\nIn the video, Teal recommends to break down those jail bars keeping us inside our comfort zone.\u00a0 I add that in the setting of infidelity, the jail bars get broken down by somebody else.\u00a0 It is a gift to you.\u00a0 For the purpose of your personal evolution. To allow you to engage with your Authentic Self.\u00a0 To practice Embracing Uncertainty – a skill that leads to Abundant Freedom.\u00a0 To recognize that you can only control yourself.\u00a0 To enable you to practice choosing the best action in a messy situation.\u00a0 Your own Evolution is served.\u00a0 Our own presence influences the behavior of others.\u00a0 When there is a less than authentic scenario, leave it to fate (for lack of a better word) to illuminate your situation for you.<\/p>\n

\"555401_10151395239592771_1239830850_n\"<\/a>If I do not know how to proceed, I nurture myself in any way I can think of.\u00a0 I will Be the Respect I wish to see in the World.<\/p>\n

Also have to point to the Four Agreements from Don Miguel Ruiz.\u00a0 Good Stuff.\u00a0 Utilizing these give Infinite Freedom.
\n1.\u00a0 Be Impeccable with Your Word.
\n2.\u00a0 Don’t Take Things Personally
\n3.\u00a0 Do Not Make Assumptions.
\n4.\u00a0 Always Do Your Best<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Full-disclosure: I recognize a theme in my life both before and after marriage. I have played the role of the other woman on numerous occasions. Usually, but not always, it was outside of my awareness at the onset. I feel I have gained some perspective on the Player. The man who chooses to have an intimate connection outside of a committed relationship. Ladies, these are good guys. Playful and Masculine. The very same qualities that likely attracted you to them. The English language has its biases.\u00a0 The word committed is not a harmonious term for me.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

I feel the concept of non-attachment is required for Ultimate Freedom, that I recommend for us all.\u00a0 When we \"IMG_3339\"<\/a>become attached to a partner in the traditional model, it stamps out parts of each partner.\u00a0 I envision a new pattern of partnerships that allow for the full authenticity of each individual.\u00a0 Infidelity has been with us for so long and so consistently that it represents a variation in Normal.\u00a0 Not that there truly is such a thing as Normal.\u00a0 The Rulebook has laid out a version of Normal that was felt to protect Society some time back.\u00a0 Beneficial to be aware of the original context to many social mores.\u00a0 Times have changed over the centuries, let us not forget. Healthy for Society to put it into a more Holistic perspective.\u00a0 Many diverse reasons for the behavior, only some of which are detrimental to a meaningful partnership with another.\u00a0 Resiliency is required.
\nTo move graciously through<\/strong> suffering <\/strong><\/em>is invigorating and empowering.<\/strong>\u00a0 I choose the historical word suffering to make a point.\u00a0 My perception is that it is common to assume<\/strong> it involves great pain and a lengthy duration.\u00a0 Not necessarily so… unless you choose it that way.\u00a0 How we frame it defines it.\u00a0 Knowing you can handle it:\u00a0 Freedom.\u00a0 Listen to me now, believe me later.<\/p>\n

As we evolve as a species, can we recognize the beautiful gifts that we are?\u00a0 We are not defined by one specific \"546834_372076476213325_2088608657_n\"<\/a>partner.\u00a0 That is such a small part of what we are.\u00a0 We grow and evolve at different rates so it is not surprising that some partnerships outlive their authenticity date.\u00a0 Consciously uncoupling in a harmonious, peaceful way serves the collective greatly.\u00a0 We are required to Let Go of some Social Rules such as Marriage is for Life.\u00a0 Difficult for some to admit but History as taught the lesson frequently.
\nI align with Karen Salmonsohn’s declaration from the Bounce Back Book that Anything one goes through is Normal.\u00a0 Kind of erasing the concept that there is such a thing as Normal.\u00a0 The word Normal is a Judgment.\u00a0 Judgment is one of the most harmful things existing in Society today.\u00a0 I decree:\u00a0 if I am going through something, it is for a reason.\u00a0 Being Judged is not that reason.\u00a0 It serves my growth and evolution in some way, not always initially evident.<\/p>\n

Be Careful What You Wish For<\/b><\/i><\/span>…<\/span><\/p>\n

It is generally prescribed for all committed relationships to be Faithful<\/i> to their partner.\u00a0 Dictionary.com offers a couple of definitions.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

\"1479548_663547627001405_588229281_n\"<\/a>Fidelity:<\/b> <\/span><\/p>\n

1. strict observance of promises, duties, etc.: a servant<\/b>‘s fidelity.
\n3. conjugal faithfulness. We are also asked to have Faith.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Faith:<\/b>
\n1. Confidence or trust in a person or thing:\u00a0 faith in another’s ability.<\/em>
\n 2. Belief that is not based on proof:\u00a0 He had faith that the hypothesis would be substantiated by fact.<\/em>
\n 4. Belief in anything, as a code of ethics, standards of merit, etc.:\u00a0 to be of the same faith with someone concerning honesty.<\/em>
\n 6. The obligation of loyalty or fidelity to a person, promise, engagement, etc.:\u00a0 Failure to appear would be breaking faith.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

I have struck the word Faith out of my vocabulary. My Beliefs and Mindset have transformed. I align with my own abilities which does not allow the common Societal Beliefs to remain in place.\u00a0 To know supercedes Faith.\u00a0 I know what is good for me.\u00a0 I do not need to know for everyone however.\u00a0 To attempt that risks stepping on their sovereignty.\u00a0 Respectful discussion is fun.\u00a0 Isn’t it?\u00a0 Maybe just for me.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n


\nOutlaw Magic:<\/strong> <\/a>The Subtle Art of Living Outside the Rules By Gary Z. McGee.\u00a0 The article opens with a\"11828715_1118887828124905_2934851119111074190_n\"<\/a> bold quote:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhen freedom is outlawed, only outlaws will be free.\u201d ~ Unknown<\/strong><\/div>\n
Generally bold language and food for thought.\u00a0 I paraphrase: he connects not taking oneself so seriously with an important step in the process to self-actualization.\u00a0 To be the most true and authentic form of yourself.\u00a0 A sincere Creator.\u00a0 He calls attachment a Cancer.\u00a0 I resonate with his themes and enjoyed his flamboyant use of language.\u00a0 I am concerned with the Freedom of those around me.\u00a0 Societal Rules have a subtle way of enslaving us all.<\/div>\n

Shhhh! Your truth is calling you.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em> James Blacker.\u00a0 Loved reading this little message on Facebook in early July 2015.\u00a0 To my sensibilities, this is always true when ever I am experiencing something:\u00a0 what could be considered good … or bad.\u00a0 Really all experiences are neither.\u00a0 They are inside our comfort zone or outside:\u00a0 an upgraded way to put it into words.\u00a0 In an ideal world, I \"11017743_10203790952484516_5265460054591554074_n\"<\/a>am free to choose my response to any and all happenings.\u00a0 Then I will deal with the consequences of my choice.\u00a0 If I do not feel good, I will reconsider my original choice and make another choice.\u00a0 Best to focus on the state of feeling that I am striving for.\u00a0 Peace, Harmony and Authenticity via the highway of Truth is my preferred combination.\u00a0 I write my own story.\u00a0 It has a few exciting chapters – some movie worthy in my own Legend.\u00a0 I tease myself.\u00a0 All.\u00a0 The.\u00a0 Time.\u00a0 It is Fun.<\/span><\/p>\n

Wrote July 2015<\/p>\n

Justify My Love<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Wrote about my wedding day in\u00a0My Gospel Truth<\/a>. \u00a0<\/strong>A bit of foreshadowing…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A story of infidelity was shared recently on a wide audience Facebook Page. Inspired me to collect my thoughts. I firmly proclaim that a holistic discussion about Infidelity is a Ripe Garden ready for Harvest. What are we harvesting? Freedom. Self-awareness. Growth. Learning. Communication skills. Compassion. Most importantly: Self Love, which starts with Respect of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[13,24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4147","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-relationship","category-self-image"],"yoast_head":"\nWild & Free - Disabled Angel<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Wild & Free - Disabled Angel\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A story of infidelity was shared recently on a wide audience Facebook Page. 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