{"id":2527,"date":"2014-11-19T22:04:23","date_gmt":"2014-11-20T04:04:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/disabledangel.ca\/?p=2527"},"modified":"2015-04-17T12:17:22","modified_gmt":"2015-04-17T18:17:22","slug":"crazy-moves","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/disabledangel.ca\/?p=2527","title":{"rendered":"What Do You Do When Crazy Moves In?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"IMG_1973\"<\/a>I like to have fun. So one fine weekend in September 2012, I chose to pop in on the Xocai Chocolate<\/strong><\/a> ladies who were hosting an event on the Equinox.\u00a0 Jacques, my 12 year old son, had a buddy sleeping over so I put an early curfew on myself \u2013 reassuring Jacques\u2019 buddy\u2019s parents. We all laughed. I felt I needed to commit to something on their behalf. So cool, my new approach to parenting! Make sure I am looking after myself…and I need adult company once in a while.\u00a0 I left the house in high spirits.<\/p>\n

I was a party all by myself as I nearly ran downstairs upon arrival at the event \u2013 the home of one of the Chocolate Ladies. I instantly saw a familiar face, one of my neighbors around the corner. I first met her 14 years prior when our two firstborns were in the same playgroup. It was many years later that she became a neighbor. She instantly marveled at the coincidence, informing everyone of our connection. Not a moment\u2019s pause and the host declares, \u201cSo you know the weirdo”.\u00a0<\/em><\/strong> I have \"1502769_10152576125029874_4100900201742453838_o\"<\/a>replaced the actual word she used as it hurt me to hear it.\u00a0 It shocked me out of my reverie to hear such venom directed towards another Human Being, presumably one of my neighbors. This neighbor had perceived that a man was out to get her children. She alluded to threats of murder. I was stammering.\u00a0 Loss for words. A few more sentences came out before I connected to who they were talking about. I was really caught off guard and heard myself speaking right off the cuff. I cannot really remember the words I used but they were cutting to the chase.\u00a0 I fear they may have lacked compassion for this dear Soul in front of me.\u00a0 Maybe Authentic Honesty\u00a0was<\/strong> the most Compassionate Response, heaven only knows.\u00a0 I was feeling Compassion for the accused man instantly. I had my own completely Peaceful relationship with him. I put my philosophy\/spirituality into one sentence that declared that we each attract our own reality with our thoughts and beliefs. It was not these very words.\u00a0 Something along those lines. Not really sure if my meaning was understood.\u00a0 I recognized her victim energy.\u00a0 Noteworthy, her oldest was\/is in a wheelchair.\u00a0 Unsure if that had any relevance to the dramatic chain of events.\u00a0 Then I was \"10347484_10152510115439150_4423787969952465908_n\"<\/a>bombarded by the accusations, \u201cCould you feel that way if you felt your children\u2019s lives were at stake?\u201d Oh, shit. How did I get into this conversation again?\u00a0 I felt like her goal was to win me over to her side.\u00a0 No way.\u00a0 Not going there. I had my own experiences with this same man and they did not match hers at all.\u00a0 She invited me to her hell.\u00a0 I chose to remain in my heaven.\u00a0 That was how I saw it.\u00a0 I backpedaled as best as I could but basically deflected the conversation away…with the help of my new friend, who concurred with my viewpoint. \u201cGotta give that girl a hug right now!\u201d, I thought to myself. And that was what I did. OK, end of conversation.\u00a0 The girl I hugged became one of my closest friends.<\/p>\n

Short break for a Pema Chodron story:<\/p>\n

HEAVEN AND HELL<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

“There\u2019s another story that you may have read that has to do with what we call Heaven and Hell, life and death, good and bad. It\u2019s a story about how those things don\u2019t really exist except as a creation of our own minds. It goes like this: A big \"10391401_746528545368088_1693527132314496536_n\"<\/a>burly samurai comes to the wise man and says, \u201cTell me the nature of heaven and hell.\u201d And the roshi looks him in the face and says: \u201cWhy should I tell a scruffy, disgusting, miserable slob like you?\u201d The samurai starts to get purple in the face, his hair starts to stand up, but the roshi won\u2019t stop, he keeps saying, \u201cA miserable worm like you, do you think I should tell you anything?\u201d Consumed by rage, the samurai draws his sword, and he\u2019s just about to cut off the head of the roshi. Then the roshi says, \u201cThat\u2019s hell.\u201d The samurai, who is in fact a sensitive person, instantly gets it, that he just created his own hell; he was deep in hell. It was black and hot, filled with hatred, self-protection, anger, and resentment, so much so that he was going to kill this man. Tears fill his eyes and he starts to cry and he puts his palms together and the roshi says, \u201cThat\u2019s heaven.\u201d
\n(From her book Awakening Loving Kindness)<\/span><\/p>\n

Heaven and Hell are the Same Place, My Friend…<\/strong><\/p>\n

Well the next two hours I spent were thoroughly enjoyable. A bunch of Divine Goddesses enjoying music, dancing, snacks and a wee wine thrown in for good measure. My dear neighbor kind of segregated herself off with the host, \"10525707_824047297635233_5302316339573284130_n\"<\/a>leaving the rest of us to just have some fun. I could not help but reflect on this when I was alone. I performed the Hawaiian Forgiveness prayer numerous times as my energetic\/spiritual attempt to heal the situation for us both. I did not dwell on it but I paid attention to it as I saw room for improvement there. The Forgiveness prayer sounded like this, \u201cDear one (I used her first name but will leave it out here), I am so sorry that I did not ensure you could understand how much compassion I felt for your situation. I love you. Please forgive me. I forgive you. Thank you.\u201d I had compassion for myself too. I recognized that the lesson of how to meet people half way was waiting to be \"10696276_10205158466309770_8514074745103773849_n\"<\/a>learned.\u00a0 How can we harmoniously coexist? If I could go back, what would I do differently?\u00a0 No idea. On the one hand, I must assume that it was perfect.\u00a0 I questioned myself. Should I approach her to tell her that I have been reflecting on our brief and awkward discussion? I sensed, no<\/strong>. But, I offered an invitation to her \u2013 via my prayers. I welcomed her if she chose to review it some more with me. I trusted in my Forgiveness prayer to seal this teaching moment – for both of us – with love and light. I could be sure that I know nothing…and that it was all perfect.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I was also reminded of one of my many favorite topics of exploration: Mental Illness. Actually, I recall using the word explore<\/strong> in the awkward conversation with my neighbor at the Chocolate Party. I was not connected to her truth or my own for that matter. This needed some exploration. Mental Illness was at the core of my neighbor\u2019s challenges \u2013 to my perception. I had lived ten years in the neighborhood at that \"10532496_576519539146718_2216650106278091440_n\"<\/a>time. The man in question was the son of one of the original owners, living with her for many years now as a single Dad. His lovely daughter is near in age to Jacques, my middle child. I met him, Frank for the purposes of this story, before he officially lived in the neighborhood. One beautiful day, my kids were playing in the back yard. Well nothing attracts kids better than the laughter of other kids. The young girl, Frank’s daughter, was visiting her Grandma that day and chose to come and meet us when she heard all of the fun coming from our backyard \u2013 across the street from Grandma. Well she fit right in. I had a brief conversation with her dad that day and with her Grandma on a later date. I always like to connect to the people around me. I know most of my neighbors. I recall how generous \"IMG_2367\"<\/a>my neighbor seemed. She offered to babysit my kids if I ever needed. I did not ever take her up on that offer. We already had two sets of grandparents clamouring for this same privilege.<\/i> Somewhere along the way, Frank separated and divorced from his daughter\u2019s mom…and moved in with his own mom. It did not take me very long to notice that he was either Schizophreniform personality or Schizophrenic. He tended to wear sunglasses all the time, no matter what the weather. I guessed Schizophrenia \u2013 which over time was confirmed with that awful kind of gossip that can be hard to avoid in life. I find that I am pretty good at avoiding it but not 100%. My heart went out to everyone involved. A couple times I noticed a police car parked across the street from his house.\u00a0 Never sure if it was for him or not.\u00a0 I admit that I did have a talk with my kids.\u00a0 I described how Schizophrenia can lead someone to see reality differently.\u00a0 I wanted to give them a head’s up but told them to treat him like any adult neighbor on the street. Usually a person is well more often than in crisis.\u00a0 Be courteous, but use your common sense \"10308882_619138385773_2561686797057234364_n\"<\/a>too.\u00a0 Not a single incident of concern.<\/p>\n

I run into Frank regularly enough and it is always a pleasant connection. I gained confidence in my Medical career, for sure. Human to human connection is essential, natural and easy. We are all human. I understand that some labels scare people. I always felt a great rapport with Frank. I went out of my way to say hi when I ran into him out and about. The same courtesy I would give anyone that I know. Ask how his daughter and mom are doing. He always asks jovially how the Doctor i<\/i>s doing. He often sits outside in front of his garage. Wave. Hello! I had always felt the mutual respect. Therefore, I never feared him.\u00a0 I see him.\u00a0 I know him as I know many of my neighbors.<\/p>\n

Time & Space\u00a0 <\/strong><\/a>by The Cinematic Orchestra<\/p>\n

In the past, if I were to choose which Medical Diagnoses I would least\"IMG_2539\"<\/a><\/b> like to own myself, Schizophrenia would be at the top of the list. Second would be Alzheimer\u2019s Disease. In both of these illnesses, one seemingly disconnects from one\u2019s self<\/b>. Could there be anything worse? November 2014 I do not connect to this paragraph anymore.\u00a0 I may even have had it backwards, they may be closer to their higher version of themselves.\u00a0 I would like to formally eat those words.\u00a0 Done.\u00a0 I had thought that regularly enough in the past so I chose not to delete the vestigial sentences.<\/p>\n

November 29, 2014<\/strong> – I am not the only one eating those words.\u00a0 The British Psychological Society, BPS, this past week released a 180 page document titled Understanding Psychosis and Schizophrenia.\u00a0 <\/em><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

Lovely article about it called Making Space For The Meaning of Madness<\/strong><\/a> written by a Clinical Psychologist.<\/p>\n

I ate the words before I knew that the BPS had.\u00a0 Just sayin’.\u00a0 Somebody has to be first … or at least earlier than later.\u00a0 My direct experience, both personally and professionally, taught me a lot.\u00a0 If you have never had any experience, how could you truly expect to understand it.\u00a0 Reading a textbook?\u00a0 Laughable.\u00a0 The University of Life has issued me a PhD in Psychosis.\u00a0 Think of me for all your psychotic needs.\u00a0 Ha ha…<\/p>\n

END Nov. 29 addition<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

At the time I wrote this I held onto a hypothesis: every single diagnosis is connected to some spiritual\/energetic block of some kind. An energetic\/spiritual cure exists for any and all illnesses, if only we understood ourselves fully. As I have explored this hypothesis, I have come across many credible people who would agree with me. Some of these are healers \"1146653_625511397473066_471608941_n\"<\/a>extraordinaire. The Medical Establishment would have a tough time accepting this. Miracle cures…Yes! The idea that deep down, many people are not looking for a cure (my personal perception in the Medical System) is noted within the Energetic Healing Community. Healers cannot assume that the sick<\/strong> individual wants full healing or in the form that the healer wants to offer it. There is this need for respecting another\u2019s wishes, deep prayers and reality. Maybe just \"IMG_2218\"<\/a>comfort is their desire in this life. Maybe a quick exit is more to their heart\u2019s yearning. We cannot define this for them. I think often of this in my interactions with people.\u00a0 After a lot of reflection on my role in the wellness world, I am guided to write my little stories. Life has just flowed so beautifully as I have aligned to this\u00a0 \u2013 requiring me to Let Go of a lot of Resistance. I have been concerned for the privacy of others and<\/b> myself. The Ego is strong with this one….<\/p>\n

I now trust that it is all perfect: I can tell my stories with Love and Light. It is with the best of intentions that I share my Love and Compassion with<\/b> the world and My Self<\/b>.\u00a0 No doubt, my humanity will shine through.\u00a0 My perfect imperfections. I interpret this as my path<\/b><\/i> \u2013 So Good!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My philosophical self-reflections from way back:<\/p>\n